


The Uterine Corollary

by DameRuth



Category: Big Bang Theory, Doctor Who
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-15
Updated: 2010-04-15
Packaged: 2017-10-08 23:28:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/80598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DameRuth/pseuds/DameRuth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack Harkness tries to help Rajesh Koothrappali learn to talk to women, and both of them get a surprise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Uterine Corollary

**Author's Note:**

> This story is completely the fault of my roommate Aleska, who suggested that I write a scene in which Jack tries to teach Raj how to talk to women; this is what jumped immediately out of my brain in response.

Raj flopped dejectedly into his chair. The girl he'd attempted to chat up had gotten tired of watching him open and close his mouth in carp-like silence, and had drifted off to another section of the bar.

"It's hopeless," Raj declared. "So long as I'm sober, I'm _never_ going to be able to talk to anyone with a uterus." He reached for the bright green alcohlic drink (as-yet untouched) he'd ordered when they arrived.

Jack, however, was unwilling to admit defeat. He slid the grasshopper across the table, away from Raj's hand. "Oh, come on," he said, in a cheerful, confident coach's voice. "It's not that bad. I mean, you don't seem to have any trouble talking to _me_." He ended the sentence with a sly wink.

Raj blinked. While English was comfortably familiar (to the point where he even thought in it), every now and then his comprehension glitched. Assuming this was one of those times, he chuckled.

"Sorry," he told Jack, with a self-deprecating grin. "For a minute, I thought you were implying _you_ had a uterus."

"I was and I do," Jack said, grinning back.

Raj's jaw dropped. "For real?" he squeaked.

"Absolutely," Jack said, crossing his heart. Then he leaned forward on his elbows and added in a conspiratorial tone, "Fifty-first century bioengineering. You people have _no_ idea."

Wide-eyed, Raj closed his mouth, then opened it again. No sound came out.

Jack started to laugh, but stopped when Raj's horrified expression didn't change. "Wait, you're _serious_?" he asked, appalled. "You really can't talk to me anymore?"

Raj looked down at the tabletop and nodded miserably.

Jack stared at him a moment longer, then shook his head. "Wow. Maybe it really is hopeless." He pushed the grasshopper across the table towards Raj. "Okay, then, guess you're right. Time for Plan B."


End file.
